You are 100% RIGHT about the State of Your Life!

I was just watching an old episode of Oprah which featured a British psychologist who created a foundation called the "Happiness Project". On the show he was discussing how the Law of Attraction works to give us each one of us the experience of creating our own life circumstances based not so much on how they "really" are, but on how we perceive them to be... I think what he has to say is fascinating:

"We have beliefs about life, and our perceptions gather evidence to PROVE that our beliefs are correct. So an "optimist" believes that good things can come from bad situations... So then the perception now works over time looking for [evidence to demonstrate] "what is the good that can come of this?" ...That's the function of perception - to teach us that we are RIGHT about EVERYTHING! Hence "pessimists" are RIGHT about life, AND "optimists" are RIGHT about life - it's about how YOU perceive it!"

Wow! So now that that has been said, here is an interesting question to get you thinking a little more about your own perceptions...

Rate the following statement on a scale of 1-7 based on how true it is for you right now, with 7 as absolutely true, and 1 as not true at all:

"If I could live my life over to this point, i would change almost nothing."

Think about that. Really think about it. If you could live your life over and change anything you had complete control over, what would you change? Bear in mind that you cannot get all magical now and live your life over changing what influence other people had, or change situations which were not under your control - it doesn't count to say "if I could live my life over I would make my dad be at home more when I was a kid" or "I would have a better relationship with my mother and help her not to be addicted to pain medication" or "I would have a spouse who didn't cheat on me". As debilitating and challenging as those examples are, they are not within the sole control of the person wishing it had been different. I am ONLY talking about experience, situations or choices that you have made along the way, which were (for the most part at least) exclusively within your control... What would YOU change about the way YOU have lived your life thus far?

When you really think about it, is there really that much? All of your choices up until now are what have made you who you are right now! Anything that you are grateful for in your life right now is, in part, because of the cumulative effects of ALL your past choices - do you really want to take those things out of your life? Talk about perceptions! Take a look at your life from the perspective of what you have learned, and who you have become, and the people who bring joy to your life now, and try to see how past "mistakes" have contributed.

It's really amazing to realize that nothing needs to change for me to be happy about who I am... Try it. I think you'll agree.

LOVE of SELF is the KEY to Attraction

Did anyone see the Oprah Winfrey show from last week on the subject of "Raising Happier Kids"? I sure did, and, though I do not have kids yet, boy am I ever glad I watched! On it, Martha Beck (...One of my heroes - Author of Expecting Adam and How to Find Your Own North Star) was talking about how children learn to love themselves by watching how their parents love themSELVES - not by how the parent loves the child - how the parent loves him or her SELF!!! Wow!

"The ONE thing you can do to teach your children to be happy is to love your OWN life! And then, love for others comes as a natural out pouring after that. If you raise kids and you only love THEM, and NOT YOURSELF, then they grow up to be people who cannot love themselves! ...They don't treat themselves the way YOU treat THEM, they treat themselves the way YOU treat YOU!"

-Martha Beck

Because our children (and everyone else, for that matter) are reflections for and of us, and they are constantly patterning what they see us do (to ourselves), if you demonstrate that you only love them (but not really yourself), then they cannot learn to love themselves (or you, very well), because they've watched you not love yourself!

...And it works this same way for everything! EVERYTHING! Not only the way our children, family, friends, co-workers, and all other people "love" us... But, this same idea also applies to how the UNIVERSE loves us! That is the essence of WHY the Law of Attraction works at different rates (and for different things - positive and negative) for different people!

We HAVE to learn to LOVE ourselves! ...It's the key to everything!!!

If the Universe sees and experiences US loving OURSELVES more and more, then, by the Law of Attraction, the Universe has NO choice BUT to love us more and more - give us even more to LOVE to love about Life and ourselves! It is LAW. ...And, in taking the "action" of actively loving ourselves more, we are effectively living the Law of Allowing as well - opening ourselves up to receive more and more because we are focused on LOVE!

Start RIGHT NOW! Think about something, anything, you love about yourself. Now think of another. And another... Think about it as much and as often as you can! Go to bed tonight thinking about it - try to get yourself to drift off to sleep while you are listing items you love about YOURSELF in your mind's eye... I guarantee that if you do, tomorrow will be a better day. I'm not quite sure HOW it will be, but I guarantee you it WILL be! It may even be a miracle - just like YOU!

Watch the BUT...

I have been thinking about something for weeks now, which plays off the theme that Karen brought up in her 4/19/07 post about 'chasing comfort with money' (kudos Karen!) I have been noticing my own (and others') tendency to qualify any contentment and gratitude with "..., BUT [followed by a statement about what ISN'T YET RIGHT and could still be better]."

It's really quite uncanny - even in the solitude of my own mental conversations with myself, I seek to moderate my attention toward what is not quite right, or what is still a "work in progress" as to my experience in the moment... Just a matter of minutes ago, I was very happily watching an episode of Oprah from the DVR, but rather than simply enjoy it for 30 minutes as I had planned to, even though everything was fine, and there were no pressing issues, I couldn't stop myself from feeling guilty about the "to do" list which was still "to be done". Or, there is just that little hint of a sinus headache that whispers more concretely than the sound of an old friend's voice on the phone. Even when an accomplishment is finally achieved, my mind is instantaneously 'on to the next thing' without a mere moment to savor the joy of "what is" now.

So, for myself, I am starting to watch my own "but"...

Every time I answer: "Things are pretty good, but..."
Every time I feel or say: "I'm feeling okay, but..."
Every time I hold back my own contentment with the thought: "..., BUT the this, or the that, or the whatever, isn't right / done / fixed / finished / certain yet!"

Why can't I seem to notice, and just be perfectly fine with exactly "what is" right now - enjoy it if it is good, and know that it will pass if it's not - without the stress and anxiety of trying to MAKE the next (ostensibly even better) experience occur immediately??!

What is it that makes it SO EASY to focus on what isn't fantastic yet (and then give power to that which I don't want) by verbalizing it or even thinking about it?

Is it the "don't count your chickens before they're hatched" syndrome?

Resistance.

Resistance is the problem... Resisting what IS. Resisting the acceptance of my immediate experience as perfect the way it is - however it is. (Or maybe, in my case, INSISTING that what it IS, is NOT quite what I want... (and subtly refusing to acknowledge what IS good about it because it is not exactly what I want??)

Unfortunately, the Law of Attraction tells us that what we focus on expands; that that which is likened unto itself is drawn -- that like attracts like. Therefore, my attention on what is "not quite right yet" is creating more of the same -- an experience of "not quite right yet"!

Perhaps what I really should be asking myself is: "What is this trying to teach me?", or "What is good about this?" What I REALLY should be asking myself is: "What do I want to experience instead??!! ...And WHY??!!" "Why" is the most important question, because the answer to it is the FUEL for the creation of what your attention is on. The Universe doesn't care if the energy and emotion is positive or negative, it only draws on the intensity of it, and seeks to manifest more of the subject on which your emotion is strong.

What do I want to feel instead of guilt for watching a favorite program? I want to feel relaxed, happy, content that I have scheduled a little "guilty pleasure" time for myself, open to inspiration from anything that pleasurably holds my attention... WHY? Because I want to feel good, I really like watching that show, I want to feel peaceful, happy, and grateful that I can take that time for myself to do something I enjoy... Suddenly the guilt and tension seem to wash a way a bit, and give way to inspiration, happiness, and a clear consciousness about the "bigger picture" reasons that are (at least partially) behind my actions and choices, and peace. Suddenly I am feeling more of what I want to feel - simply by asking myself what I want to feel and why.

Perhaps there is something to this "Law of Attraction stuff" after all! ;-)

So, watch your own "but..." When you catch yourself saying, thinking, or noticing it - begin to acknowledge what you do like about your current experience, as well as what you may ALSO be wishing to experience instead, and WHY!

(BUT beware: By interrupting the pattern, you will cease the creation of "more of the same" and start moving more quickly toward your inner hearts' desires (even if that desire is a smaller but (derriere!))

God has ONLY 3 possible answers...

There are only 3 possible answers from the Universe for anything we want to create:

1. Yes.
2. Yes, but not right now.
3. I have something even better in mind for you.
   

Notice that "no" is not an option. There is NO "no" in the Universe!

The Universe is a big "YES" machine... The answer is "YES" to anything and everything you intend to create! It may not be right this minute, or it may in fact be leading you to something even better (as yet unknown) in store for you, so it may not seem like that sometimes, but...

The answer is effectively "YES"!

...So keep dreaming, keep imagining, keep visualizing, keep creating!!! What IS in your mind IS what you are creating! The answer is "YES!!" (...or EVEN BETTER!)

An Inverse Corollary???

Karen's great post on "UN-linking cause and effect" got me thinking about something that often comes up in philosophical discussions about the Law of Attraction, and it is this: the attempt to explain anything that doesn't work out the way we want it to with an inverse corollary to some aspect of the Law of Attraction or the application thereof.

We want so desperately to find meaning and see the bigger picture, or to know why something didn't work out, or, even worse, want to discover what we must have done wrong, that we try to use the principles of the Law of Attraction to account for and decipher the results in hindsight.

Unfortunately, it just doesn't work that way. The Law of Attraction does not function in a vacuum any more than we do... If something doesn't manifest the way we'd hoped, despite our purest and most joyful intentions, despite absolutely pure positive deliberate focus, it is not necessarily an indication of faulty application of the principles of the Law of Attraction (or that the Law of Attraction is faulty)!

If you are reading this, I KNOW that YOU know that already... But humor me here.

Because, even I, a long-time student of the metaphysical principles which include the Law of Attraction, the Law of Allowing, the Law of Deliberate Creation, etc., a professional working expert in this stuff, still catch myself occasionally "throwing the baby out with the bathwater" when I try to analyze why something didn't go my way, and draw conclusions based on that (oversimplified) analysis.

We ALL know that life is more complex than that... And, actually, even the Law of Attraction is more complex than that. Just because the essence of the Law of Attraction lies in seeing something as ALREADY true - imagining it SO FULLY that the sub-conscious mind TRULY believes it to be REAL right now (thus creating a vibration of that reality which magnetizes events, meetings, happenstance, and inspiration to right action that serve to make it true in actual experience) DOESN'T mean that that is ALL that is going on!

In the same way that a person who dies after falling out a window was not killed by the Law of Gravity alone, the Law of Attraction is not SOLELY responsible for what we do (or don't) manifest for ourselves.

Still, that doesn't mean that we won't benefit by learning more and more about it, and honing our skills to apply the principles deliberately. Then, rather than blame the Law if we fall, we might instead be able to use it more effectively to help us to FLY!

More on "The River" of Life...

I have been thinking of the metaphor that Karen brought up in her last post, about life being a river rather than a road (well done, Karen!) I have heard that idea before, as I am sure many have, but, it has only begun to be more useful to me when I put it together with the concept of REALLY being IN a river!

I have been river-rafting a number of times, and I have spent my fair share of time overboard, OUTSIDE the boat... One of the first things you are taught as a beginning river-rafter is what to do in just such an occasion:

"...keep your feet up near the surface to avoid them being trapped in rocks and logs -- never try to stand up in a rapid or fast flowing water. Swim down the rapid on your back, arms folded over your chest, feet first to fend off obstacles."

The idea is that by making yourself as sleek as possible, head up so you can see where you are going, arms crossed and feet first, you are reducing the possibility of getting caught or stuck on something in the river - like a rock, log or debris. Somewhat counter-intuitive though it may be, holding on to something else in the river is the worst thing an overboard rafter could do! If it is a log, and could possibly break free, then it could end up smashing you into some less movable object. If it is a big rock, and you get pinned there, the water pressure could hold you there indefinitely, or worse, force you into a position where you cannot get air. If it is a bunch of debris, you can get tangled, caught, or pulled under...

This is not meant to frighten anyone away from safe river-rafting (because it really is fun!) but rather, to illustrate how futile (and frequently truly unsafe) it is to try to grab on to anything in the current. The best bet for safety is to make like a water snake and flow WITH the river, over and around the obstacles, letting the water carry you, as IT works to make it's way downstream, and then swim to the side at the next wide spot where the water pools and slows...

Grabbing onto anything else will only get in your way, tangle your movement, or drag you down.

I think that is how we get into trouble in the river of life as well. I know I am right now - I have been frantically grasping at twigs, rocks, ropes, and the map to try to help me control my way down the particular set of rapids I am in right now, and it's not working. It's tiring me out, wearing me down, and making me feel like the whole thing is hopeless and hard. I know that I should take my own advice here, and make like a water snake, for an easy ride, and let the river take me where it wants to go - but how do I keep my head up, cross my arms over my chest, and go feet first into the reality of life?

...And what if I don't want to go where the river is taking me? What then???!!

I think that'll have to be another post! I'll let you know how it works out!

Testing your Mettle

The Universe has a way of testing your mettle at the VERY moment you are on the verge of something you have been waiting for, wishing/hoping/dreaming about, or are just about to manifest for yourself.

As soon as you have definitely committed to a goal, or, even worse, right when you are "on the brink" of something good, or something great, or something perfect, or EXACTLY what you want/need for where you want to go in life... It happens - the Universe will toss an obstacle, or a distraction, or a temptation your way, and typically make it VERY EASY for you to back out of the opportunity or settle for something else that's "not quite right".

"The Universe will ALWAYS give you EXACTLY what you are WILLING to settle for..."

Unfortunately, I have seen this time and time again, both in my own life as well as in the lives of my friends... Just this week I have first-hand knowledge of 3 or 4 occurrences in the lives of people I know well!

• My mom, having recently made an absolute commitment to getting healthy and trimming down, and having carefully built up a good habit of exercising every day for a month or so (to the point where results are just visible) slipped and broke her shoulder...
• A friend, hemming and hawing over whether he is going to move from NY to LA or not, finally decides "YES! I am going to move to LA!" and is visiting to interview and make plans today - the ONLY day it has rained in months...
• A client whose primary intention is to be in a good, loving relationship, who is focused on that ONE aim in our sessions together, has an opportunity to attend a class with a very high probability of being the EXACT thing she needs to further her goal, decides she is too tired to attend after having car trouble earlier in the day...
  
• Another friend is building up his business in the healing arts, is making really good progress, and then gets a tempting job offer that pays really well in his OLD industry...
  

Now all of these examples may seem like coincidences, they may even seem like "messages" or "signs" from on high that the original goal/intention/aim is not the right one for us, that perhaps we 'really should be' going a different direction...

I don't think so!

In my experience with consciously using the Law of Attraction and the power of intention, I say that it is EXACTLY the opposite! I say that when the Universe throws us these curve balls it is actually an indicator for us to RUN EVEN FASTER toward the original goal - be EVEN MORE DEDICATED to the results you are consciously creating and attracting! In a way, the Universe is testing us to see just how committed we really are to our own visions!!!!

Do NOT be deterred!

These "tests" are not malicious - it is more like forging steel to make it stronger. The loving and abundant Universe is actually TRYING to give you exactly what you want. You may say that you want more money, a relationship, to lose weight, more business, to have more fun, etc., but, somewhere in your subconscious/unconscious mind, maybe that isn't quite accurate. So, when you start to take action toward that goal (or any goal) that action (or progress) upsets the equilibrium of how 'it has always been', the stasis, our comfort zones... Now the part of us who is afraid that there may be 'no turning back' wants to put on the brakes and slow it down a bit (if only subconsciously) and starts to attract occurrences which give us the opportunity to bail out. Literally, giving us a "legitimate" reason to stop short of the goal and declare it "good enough". It takes energy, effort and focused attention to align our intentions with our subconscious motivations. Unfortunately, it is VERY DIFFICULT for us to see or know WHAT our subconscious/unconscious motivations ARE...

THAT is what the "tests" are! These obstacles, temptations, and challenges that the Universe gives us to test our mettle are the physical manifestations of our subconscious motivations coming to light (coming to LIFE) - manifested to focus our attention to how WE are unconsciously blocking OURSELVES from what we consciously think we want!

The real question is what are you going to do about it? So what if the Universe gave you a flat tire? Can you ask a friend to drive you to that important event? So what if you have a sprained ankle? Are you going to do sit-ups and work out with dumb-bells anyway? So what if I have a big expense right when I was trying to manifest more money? Can I find a way to clear the part of me that is attracting it? So what if a friend is doing something you wish you were doing instead? Are you going to go out and do something even better yourself?

Yes. There IS something in your way... But you have the power to go around/over/under/through or clear that obstacle and use it as a cue to focus your intention even more clearly - strengthen that vision, clear your unconscious, take an even more courageous action to honor your heart's desire. Strengthen your determination!

Don't negotiate with yourself by allowing the "curve balls" to re-negotiate your desires for you!

The more we exhibit determination and commitment to our goals and intentions, the more we use the feedback we are being given by the Universe to strengthen our focus and vision on what we truly want to be experiencing, the faster is HAS to come! The Universe is giving us exactly what we need to be able to forge our dreams into physical world reality - the Universe is pointing out where the weak spots are and where we may not be in complete alignment so we can do something about it!

...Literally SO we CAN have the vibrant life we TRULY dream of!